Friendships can get complicated when boundaries and assumptions collide. Our reader’s friend accused his girlfriend of being “too revealing” during a visit, even claiming she dressed that way intentionally. What should have been a simple favor quickly turned into an uncomfortable and awkward situation.
We got a message from our reader.
Thank you for reaching out! This sounds like a tough situation, but we’re here with a few suggestions that could help make things a bit easier.
Trust your gut.
You know your friend and your girlfriend better than anyone else. If you felt like his comments were unreasonable and disrespectful to both you and your girlfriend, you had every right to respond the way you did. Blocking might seem a little extreme, but it also sends a clear message that you’re not going to tolerate disrespect towards your girlfriend. Trust your gut, but be open to reflecting if it feels right later.
Talk to your girlfriend.
It sounds like you and your girlfriend laughed it off, but if you’re wondering if blocking him was too harsh, consider talking to her more seriously about how she felt. If she thinks his comments were inappropriate and doesn’t feel comfortable around him anymore, your actions are more justified.
Reconsider the friendship.
Think about the kind of friend he is. Was this the first time he acted like this, or is it part of a pattern? If this is a one-off, maybe a conversation could have worked before blocking. If he often disrespects boundaries or makes you uncomfortable, then it might be better to keep your distance.
Friendships should be built on respect, and if that respect isn’t there, it’s okay to let go.
Think about the future.
If you’re second-guessing blocking him, see if there’s a chance to mend things, but only if he’s willing to recognize his mistake and apologize. Otherwise, keeping that distance is healthier for you and your girlfriend. It’s always important to remember that people who add negativity to your life aren’t worth keeping around if they refuse to respect you and those you care about.
Some words we hear in quiet, vulnerable moments can leave a lasting impact. In this article, after a heated argument, our reader lay awake in bed when her husband leaned in and whispered something she wished she hadn’t heard. The next day, he dismissed it as nothing, but the damage had already been done.