Engagements are typically joyful occasions, but for one of our readers, her sister’s big news sparked an unexpected controversy. Things were going well until she caught sight of the ring—and uncovered a shocking truth.

Thank you for opening up and sharing your experience. Repairing relationships after something like this can be challenging, but don’t worry—we’ve put together some tips that might help you navigate this tricky situation!

The hurt and betrayal are valid, but it’s important to figure out what you truly want: to resolve the conflict, reclaim the ring, or simply express your feelings. Reflect on whether you’re more upset about losing the ring itself or the broken promise from your grandmother and the way your sister handled it.

When emotions cool down, you’ll be in a better position to express your thoughts calmly and effectively, which can open the door to a healthier conversation with your sister.

If talking face-to-face feels too emotional right now, consider writing a heartfelt letter to your sister. Explain how you feel about the ring, why it was significant to you, and why her actions hurt you. Use “I” statements, like, “I felt betrayed when I found out Grandma gave it to you because she had promised it to me,” rather than blaming language.

Avoid demanding the ring back in the letter—this is more about repairing your relationship than reclaiming the item at this stage. Once she understands your feelings without the heat of an argument, she might be more open to an honest discussion about how things went wrong.

Your grandmother is at the heart of this issue, and her decision may have been influenced by your sister’s pressure. Sit down with her and ask her to explain her reasoning. Be honest about how much the ring meant to you and why you feel hurt by the situation.

However, approach her with compassion—she may have been put in a tough spot and might be feeling guilty about her decision. This conversation isn’t about making her feel bad, but about expressing your feelings and finding some closure. Depending on her response, she might be willing to help mediate the situation with your sister or even offer a solution to make things right.

If you want to repair things with your sister, consider taking the first step toward reconciliation. This doesn’t mean ignoring what happened, but starting a conversation about how the situation has affected your relationship.

Acknowledge her engagement and express that you’re happy for her, even if the ring situation still stings. If she’s willing to meet you halfway, you could work toward healing and finding a resolution. This might also pave the way for future conversations about the ring—whether she keeps it or you find another way to honor your grandmother’s promise together.

Another reader found himself in a challenging situation regarding his engagement. When his fiancée turned down the $5,000 ring he had chosen for her, it left him questioning their relationship. You can read his full story here.