After months of ignored boundaries and another baby on the way, one woman questions whether it’s fair to ask her mother-in-law to find her own place

A woman sought advice from the Reddit community after finding herself overwhelmed by the living arrangement she had agreed to with her mother-in-law, and wondering whether it was fair to ask her to move out.

The poster explained that “a little over 8 months ago my MIL (67 F) came to us stating the house she was renting at the time was being sold and she had 2 months until having to move out.”

She added that her mother-in-law “did not want to work anymore,” and because of that, she and her husband made the decision to let her move into the downstairs area of their home.

According to the woman, things changed fast once her mother-in-law settled in. The living space offered some separation, but as she wrote, “since she has been here I feel like we no longer have our own space and I cannot relax in my own home.” She described her mother-in-law as having “a quite harsh personality” and said the older woman “tries to be involved in all of our [business].”

The tension became even clearer as she detailed a pattern of boundary-crossing behavior. She shared that her mother-in-law repeatedly entered her and her husband’s bedroom, saying she “uses my dog going onto our bed while I’m gone as an excuse to go into our room and continuing to do so after being told to stay out of our room.”

She also noted that the questions never stopped, explaining that her MIL constantly asked “what our plans are, where we are going, what is in our packages ordered, personal life questions, etc.”

The challenges didn’t end there. The poster said her mother-in-law also ignored certain rules involving her 7-month-old child, even in small ways that still built up frustration. “She does watch our son for 2 hours after school until I am off work 4 days a week,” the woman wrote, but explained that this created more stress than it relieved.

The woman wrote that her previous babysitter would give her son “a healthy snack then take him outside to play, read books, or do other activities.” The mother-in-law, however, “does the bare minimum, usually sitting our son in front of the TV until I get home and feeding him junk even after I ask her not to.”

Complicating things further, her husband often worked out of town, leaving her to navigate these issues alone. “I have made my boundaries very clear and MIL continues to ignore these,” she said, adding to the emotional and mental strain she was already carrying.

Then came news that changed everything: the couple found out they were expecting another child. The woman wrote, “Having known our family would be growing, I would not have agreed to MIL moving in.”

The pregnancy brought excitement, but it also magnified the stress of their living arrangement, especially because once the nursery was set up, “we also will no longer have any room for company to stay over.”

Feeling overwhelmed, she spoke to her husband about the need to start discussing a plan for his mother to move out. She shared that she envisioned giving her mother-in-law time and support to find something “affordable enough for her being on a pension.”

She also emphasized that the older woman was fully capable of independence and had even been talking about working part-time again.

But her husband disagreed. “My husband thinks I am being too harsh wanting to ask her to move out after only living with us for 6 months,” she wrote.

One commenter responded firmly in her defense, writing, “NTA. You gave it a real shot and she’s ignoring clear boundaries in your home, plus a new baby changes the deal.” The commenter advised her to set a clear timeline for moving out and to put house rules in writing while offering suggestions for where her mother-in-law could begin searching for housing or part-time work.

“NTA. I wouldn’t want someone nosey living in my house like that either or straight up doesn’t listen to me,” another commenter wrote. “Almost sounds like she’s taking your kindness for granted.”