1. “Got a splinter under my thumbnail.”

2. “My water bottle shrank after putting it in the dishwasher.”

3. «I feared the worst when my neighbor called me and said, ’Come quick… my kids…’»

4. “My girlfriend washed my wool sweater.”

5. “My foot after wearing a wet boot with a hole in it for 10 hours.”

6. “My son loves white chocolate.”

7. «Watching a toddler learn is fantastic.»

8. “Phone purchased at 10:20 am, black ice got me at 1:30 pm.”

9. “Fantastic, how’s your day going?”

10. “I was so tired this morning I brewed water. Happy Monday!”

11. “I was charged $62 for a haircut and it wasn’t even cut correctly.”

12. “The view from my hike yesterday”

13. “We get a calendar with pictures of our dog in it every year. This year our dog is a cat.”

14. “A tree fell on my Cadillac.”

15. “Been stuck on a train for 12 hours, alone, because of the weather.”

16. “I grew a beard to keep my face warm this winter.”

17. “Just moved into a brand new house. My stuff fell off the shelf and shattered the toilet.”

18. “It’s better than nothing.”