Victoria Zavakos is a congenital amputee and was born missing her left arm below the elbow

NEED TO KNOW

• Born without her left arm below the elbow, Victoria Zavakos is going viral on TikTok for learning how to do her daughter’s hair one-handed
• With help and encouragement from followers, she mastered using a vacuum to style ponytails
• Through the process, Victoria says she’s found community, confidence and a powerful way to teach her kids about resilience and embracing differences

When Victoria Zavakos learned she was pregnant with her and her husband’s first child — a baby girl — she was overjoyed. But along with the excitement came a fair share of worry about what was ahead.

Victoria, who lives in Columbia, S.C., with her family, is a congenital amputee and was born missing her left arm below the elbow.

“I wore a prosthetic from 6 months old until I was 5,” the 28-year-old tells PEOPLE exclusively. “I remember being young and realizing the prosthetic held me back and I could actually do things faster with my small arm.”

“Once I hit middle school, I became very aware and self-conscious of my arm,” she says. “I would hide it in photos and try to stand with it away from people. When I think back to that time, I feel so sad for that version of me — the Victoria who was so worried about being different.”

With time, Victoria — who’s married to her high school sweetheart, Alex — began to see her difference as something that made her stronger. But when she became pregnant, old fears resurfaced in new ways.

“I’d keep myself up at night thinking, ‘How am I going to do ___?’” she recalls. “But truthfully, there was no other option than to figure it out! Alex and I would brainstorm different ways for me to do certain things, and we always made it happen.”

Having her husband by her side, she says, made all the difference.

“I’m so thankful to have him as my sounding board in life, but especially in parenthood,” she continues. “He’s never made me feel bad for needing extra time to figure something out or practice a new technique.”

Now a mom to 2½-year-old daughter Kalliope — or Kallie — and 8-month-old son Theo, Victoria has developed her own methods for just about everything: changing diapers, dressing her babies, nursing and buckling them into their car seats.

“I always found a way,” she says proudly. “And I’m so proud of that.”

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Still, one parenting task has proven trickier than most — doing Kallie’s hair.

“Kallie’s hair has been the first real hurdle in parenthood that I haven’t quite found a solid answer for yet,” Victoria admits. “When we found out we were having a girl, I was so excited — but that excitement quickly turned into worry when I started thinking about doing her hair.”

Her husband, as always, was quick to jump in.

“When I told Alex my concern, he immediately said he would learn for me and for her — and that’s exactly what he did!” she says with a laugh. “We call him the ‘Daddy Salon,’ and he always does Kallie’s ponytails whenever she needs them. But as her mom, I still wanted to find a way to do it myself.”

@vicjzav PLEASE send tips & tricks my way! I want to so badly do my daughter’s hair, I know i can figure it out! Watching this back, it makes me so emotional seeing how patient kallie is with me while I learn this 🥹🩷 my bestie girl! #toddlersoftiktok #amputeelife #disabledmom #lifestyle #fyp ♬ original sound – noahksticks

Determined to figure it out, Victoria decided to give it a shot, and record the process along the way. Since posting, her videos have gone viral, and the online support has blown her away.

“I thought it would be fun to film my first attempt at doing her hair to track my progress,” she says. “I posted it on TikTok and wow, the response was incredible.”

Soon, comments began pouring in. “Parents, hairstylists and so many others have reached out with the best ideas,” she says. “I even had a woman named Abby make me special hair ties that cinch and mail them to me to try with Kallie! It brings tears to my eyes thinking about all of the people who are trying to help me on this hair journey.”

@vicjzav Replying to @shelleyanne333 First ever PIGTAILS!!! 💗 Wow I love how this turned out, and it was SO fast!!! Thankful to my brave girl for loving the vacuum! #toddlersoftiktok #fyp #amputeelife #Lifestyle ♬ original sound – Headbangers Dan

One suggestion kept coming up: try using a vacuum.

So, she ordered a small one with a hose, set up her camera and gave it a shot. “At first, I didn’t think the vacuum was going to work,” she admits. “But when I tried it for the first time and it did, I was jumping up and down with excitement! It felt so good knowing that I could put her hair up on my own.”

Beyond the viral moment, the experience has given her something deeper: connection. “I’m a stay-at-home mom, and that can feel lonely at times,” she says. “Posting on TikTok has helped me meet new people and make new friends — I truly have found the sweetest corner of TikTok.”

@vicjzav OMG the vacuum technique is totally working!!!! It’s definitely a learning curve, but I think we are moving in the right direction! So proud of Kallie being brave with this. I’m so excited. Thank you to alllllllll the people that recommended this! 🤩🤩#toddlersoftiktok #amputeelife #disabledmom #Lifestyle #fyp ♬ original sound – victoria

Through it all, her daughter has been her biggest supporter.

“Kallie, my girl… she has amazed me during this whole process,” Victoria says. “The patience she’s shown me is astounding. When something isn’t working, she tells me to keep trying. She was a little nervous about the vacuum at first, so we eased into it slowly — and once we turned it on, she laughed the whole time! Kids can definitely feel your energy, so I always try to stay calm for her.”

Lately, Kallie has also started to notice her mom’s difference — and she’s curious.

“She’ll say things like, ‘Kallie has two hands, and Mommy only has one?’ And I just say, ‘Yes, that’s right, baby — and that’s okay!’ ” Victoria shares. “I think it’s so important that when we explain people’s differences, we do so without pity or sadness. People are different, and that’s okay.”

For Victoria, the lessons go far beyond hair care.

“As a parent, you’ll always find a way for your child,” she says. “It’s a unique experience being a parent with a disability, and I want to tell others that we’ll always get to the end result in our own special ways. We’re teaching our kids that not everyone looks the same or does things the same way — and that’s okay! We must be resilient for our kids.”

Next on her list? Braids.

“I’m going to try braiding my daughter’s hair!” she says with a smile. “Having two children under 3 is a challenge for even two-handed parents, but I’m up for it — and I’m excited to see how we’ll learn together.”